a year of happiness, blessings, struggle and loss

As I sit here tonight and think about all that has happened this year and especially in just a months time my emotions are so mixed. We have been so blessed this year, and with all the blessings and amazing times there has been sadness and loss. This year we moved into our first house, found out we were pregnant, had the sweetest baby ever, grew closer as a couple through trials and are learning as new parents. Rob also got a new job with better opportunities. My family had 3 babies born, all 6 weeks apart. They are all perfect and healthy too. We have SO much to be  that we are very thankful for. We are truly blessed. However, with the happy times must come the trials of sadness, struggle and loss. 

The beginning of November I got a phone call from my dad. There was something different about this phone call, he informed me that my grandpa had passed away in his home. My heart just sank as I thought of my sweet grandma and how she had just lost the love of her life, my thoughts then went to my mom who spent her days worried and taking care of her parents. I can't imagine loosing my dad (or mom). This alone was and is very hard. I lived in the same town as this grandpa growing up and he was always so kind and supportive. He was a proper man (with a sense of humor) and showed nothing but love to all of us. He taught me exactly how I want my family and extended family to be, close and supportive. My mom told me she never saw her parents argue. That is amazing. I love that about him, he was very respectful. Our family hasn't had to deal with a lot of loss until the beginning of November both sets of grandparents were alive.

2 weeks ago on Wednesday my husband is in the young mens presidency at church and had the young men at our house for the evening so I called my grandparents (my dads parents that live close to me) and asked if they were home and if I could come by and visit, they only live about 10 minutes away. My grandma was who I talked to and she was excited for me and baby Krew to come by. She told me that they had been at the ER because my grandpa had gotten a black eye that was kind of weird and they had diagnosed him with Leukemia, but that on Tuesday they would be meeting with the oncologist to see how serious and what actions to take. She was very positive! She is good at that, always so positive. So I went to their house and had a wonderful evening visiting for about 3 hours, I love family time. I love talking to my grandparents about parenting, family, marriage, and just life. I like these times, I love being with family! My sweet grandma said to me with tears in her eyes "maybe this is what we have been praying for, something to bring our family closer together. Something to unite us." What a strong and selfless lady, she just recently beat cancer herself!

Last Tuesday I called my parents house, I was anxious to hear how the appointment went. As soon as my dad answered the phone I knew it wasn't good. He told me that my grandpa does have Acute Myeloid Leukemia... they told him he had days, weeks, maybe months to live. The sadness is terribleThis weekend we all gathered at my grandparents. The spirit was strong, heaven was close and we all held on the every memory we could because we all knew time was very short. Saturday night very late I said goodbye to my grandpa before going home for the evening, I knew it would be the last time I got to hug my grandpa and tell him how much I love him. At least in this life. Sunday morning early my grandpa slipped away peacefully with my sweet grandma by his side. He promised us before he died that he would tell my other grandpa that we love him and I know he did.

I love both my grandpas so much, they are some of the greatest men I know! They raised my parents and I look up to them. I never thought with all that we received this year and all the happiness we experienced that we would also experience such great loss. Especially so close together, a month a 4 days to be exact. It is like I witnessed the circle of life though. With life comes death and that is all part of it. That is all part of this beautiful life!